...writings, ramblings, and thinkings...

At last I come to the final part of the review. And without much preamble, I'll jump straight into the big question I suspect a number people will be wondering: how is the Dragon novel going?

Well...the novel is still no where near finished. I spent a good chunk of last year working on a few other projects, which did take some of my time away from it, I'll admit. That said, those projects did lead me to be something that I wasn't really before: someone who writes, rather than someone who wants to write.

Somewhat tangentially: a major bit of work that I was quite pleased to get out of the way was transferring the work from SuperNotecard to Scrivener (not a simple task as it involved a lot of copy-and-pasting from one file to another, and as these programs break everything up into smaller scenes...). It was in fact because of Scrivener that I chose to buy a Mac laptop rather than a PC...and I have to confess I've not at all regretted the move. Well...apart from the time (which came about during the attempted transferal of writing) I managed to wipe the laptop completely. Who knew you could do that to a Mac? Thankful I had the whole thing backed up on my external hard drive via Time Machine, so I lost some emails but that was about it!

So I've been getting very acquainted with Scrivener, and I have to say I love it to pieces. Being able to have all the research files in the one spot along with the text is particularly good.

Anyway...as I was saying, it has been good to feel that I can actually say 'I'm writing' rather than 'I want to write.' The result also has been that I've learned a lot more about my own writing habits, needs, and quirks.

For instance, it turns out I work rather well having an outline and a direction. But whereas when I was a lot younger (pre-teen and teenager) and attempted to write novels, I sat down and wrote outlines before the writing process had started, and then got stuck because the outline felt fixed and immutable. The Dragon novel has had a solid outline for a while now, but solid doesn't mean inflexible. And also, while the outline of the *story* is pretty tight now, after a good two years of thinking about what I wanted the main plot to be and the message to convey, the *structure* is definitely highly flexible (that is, just *how* the story is conveyed is always changing in my mind. Not too long ago, I realised that I'd crammed all this plot info into the first chapter, which actually would be better to appear incrementally throughout the novel and in subtler ways, so Chapter 2 has now become Chapter 1).

Have also reaffirmed my need for word goals...whilst realising that I do not need them to be enormous either. As you'll read below, even the tiniest ones are quite effective.

Another really great thing I discovered was that the more I wrote, the more ideas I got, and the more inspired I became. The constant flexing of the creative muscles did in fact make me more confident at what I was doing. It's one of those aspects of any art or skill you read about, and I finally know what they mean by it. And it feels really good. Really, really good, actually.

Thus in short; Dragon novel still plugging along and the end is still way off in the distance, but I'm feeling a lot more confident as a writer and am happily more consistent with being one.

So...what are my hopes for Writing in 2010? Well, thus far, I've mostly managed to stick to my goal of at least 100 words a day. The brilliant thing about that goal is if I slack off, the catch up isn't so onerous. Put it this way - last week I major slacked off, so come Saturday, I had 1000 words to catch up on. And I can certainly manage 1000 words in a day if I need to.

The other benefit of this goal is that I am so far looking at the novel on a much more regular basis than I have previously. The constant 'contact' with it is proving very good, actually, my mind is more flexible with it and I'm less afraid of taking risks with it then when I was only touching it semi-regularly.

Besides which, I'm generally managing to do about 200 words a session anyway, so the plan is to stick to the '100 words without fail' (even if catch-up needed) till March, then think about setting it to a higher count of '200 words without fail.' Who knows, the mental trickery just might work.

(Note: if you are interested in my word goals, check my blog page itself, and you'll see two counter bars in the column on the right.)

I've also finished (unless told otherwise) the writing for the composition collaboration, and I believe it will be performed sometime in May. I'm waiting eager to hear what the composer has come up with for it.

Also want to get the short story I did the draft of last year finished by March, and then start sending it around to magazines, online or otherwise (online will be good as it means I can easily show them to people). Time also to start thinking about other possible shorter works.

And that brings 2009 in Review to an end. Wasn't meant to take all of January, but at last it's done. Now we will return to regular programming with hopefully more consistent updates throughout 2010. :)

One thing you should understand when I read or watch something; I rarely do it purely to relax. Unless I'm putting on a film or show I'm familiar with, I am usually constantly analysing it, assessing, judging.

This is not to say that I'm being objective. Far from it. Nor is the enjoyment lessened. I'd even argue the enjoyment is enhanced; because I have a sense of what a writer/creator goes through to make a story work, I get even more excited when it does - and also more disappointed when it doesn't, when the flaws are so obvious that it grates.

I've given brief reviews of the plays I saw but not of the books or films because that would take up more time than I can put to it - though if anyone wants an opinion on something I'm happy to comment on it.

( Theatre viewing )

I really want to get more on top of my reading, which I have talked about in an earlier post. So here is my rather (in my opinion) dismal list of books read last year.

( Books read in 2009 )

One of the best things I've joined this year is LOVEFiLM. Why? In the past when I've gone into a video rental shop, I tend to have a small fit as I try to decide on what exactly I want to hire, because there are an awful lot of films and TV shows I want to watch. LOVEFiLM takes the pain out of that in so many ways by letting me put hundreds (I have close to 300 titles on my 'to rent' list now) on there, and send them to me as they become available. Takes so much of the 'angst' away from it, and I've been able to see so much this year as a result.

( Films and TV series seen in 2009 )

The first draft of the first of two parts of the writing/composing project should now be sitting in my collaborators inbox. I'm quite glad actually that I got that part done before going back to work tomorrow. It is still a draft, malleable and able to bend and change if need be, but it feels good to have the bulk of it there.

Also got more washing done today, and have made lunch for the next two days for work. So am feeling quite ready for the week ahead. I feel like I'm getting things done at a most unusual rate for me, and I hope this can continue as it has been going. I've noticed that while I've been quite productive, I've actually been sleeping quite well at night. It doesn't feel like it's taking so long for me to get to sleep, something that can often take over an hour.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now and see about finishing that next 'Year in Review' post before going to bed.

Writer cliche approaching...I think I need some fingerless gloves. I can keep most of my body warm in the house but over the past few days my hands have been getting a little bit chilly...*adds to to-do list*

Over the next week and a bit I'm going to be working on a project for Kammerklang, which involves me writing text for a composer to put in someway to music. The composer happens to be D., a high school friend who I did Tournament of Minds with years back, so it's great to be working with him again. After some ideas bounced back and forth, we've going to go with some themes from the Dragon novel. The chance to hear how someone else might musically express aspects of the novel is very exciting. I do need to get to work on it quite quickly, though, but perhaps the pressures of time will bring out something unexpected? We'll see.

Am trying to get a number of things done before work starts back on the 5th; emails, the year in review posts, other organisational things before the year really kicks off. I think my word for 2010 is going to be 'preparedness.' I tend to stumble from one project/event/chore/thing to another, and scrambling gets a little bit tiring and above all, stressful. I always tend to make 'be more organised' my New Year Resolution, but I wonder if approaching it from the mindset of 'preparedness' and also the idea of apply consistent pressure will work better.

Record of Teaching Practice has been sent off via email, hard copies will be in the post by Monday, and I'm overall pretty happy with it. There is a vague chance RSCDS HQ might ask for it to be re-submitted, but fingers crossed it will be ok...I'm hoping acknowledging that my lesson plans are a little bit sparse and that I should pay better attention to what music I use will compensate for them wanting more details on the music...

The other good news is my cold is subsiding. I spent most of the afternoon/evening in bed yesterday, partly just trying to keep warm and party because I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything. It appears to have done me good. Nose is no longer dripping like a tap and I'm definitely feeling a bit perkier. The self-medication of strepsils (supplied by house mate), lemsip, tea, and bovril seems to have worked, despite the lack of appetite (tis nearly 4pm, and I have only eaten some bread, but I suspect food will seem appealing later this evening).

I do have photos of the snow, but my Facebook account is being funny and doesn't seem to want to let me share things with people who aren't on it...does this link work for anyone who isn't on there?

Snow in Cambridge

Else I might post them to photobucket or the like if that fails.

Right...more tea or bovril is in order now I think.

The water-plug being left in solitude, its overflowings sullenly congealed, and turned to misanthropic ice.

...

It was not in impenetrable shadow as the other objects in the yard were, but had a dismal light about it, like a bad lobster in a dark cellar.

- Dickens, A Christmas Carol

I particularly liked the phrase 'misanthropic ice,' whilst the second one oddly reminded me of the Cowboy Bebop episode "Toys in the Attic."

In other news...

The Wizard of Oz party was a lot of fun. The next day...well, my head wasn't having so much fun (I really must remember to eat a full meal and keep drinking water when I know drinking is going to happen) but the party was great. By fortuitous coincidence, someone else came as a ruby slipper, so we were a matching pair. Also present were the birthday girl as the major of Munchkin city and her boyfriend as the city of Oz, on a hat, with the yellow brick road leading up to the city and all) the aforementioned road, the farm house, three scarecrows, a representative of the lollipop guild, two cowardly lions, a sunflower, and one tin man (not by choice - he was pounced on not long after his arrival with a handy roll of aluminum foil). Hopefully someone else will post pictures soon so I can re-post it here.

Despite (or perhaps because of) yesterday's hangover, I managed to have a fairly productive day in terms of getting chores done. Tomorrow night I have the last class of teaching before I have to get cracking with my record of teaching practice for the exam. I have notes, but not much coherence yet. Friday will definitely be a day of trying to make it coherent!

I've taken some of the advice suggested to me in an early post with regards to my reading plans, though I suspect I'll be keeping my active reading list on the word doc I've set up on my desk top rather than posting it here. I do have on Facebook an application of books I've read, and I pulled off the ones I've read this year, which is a rather abysmal 18. I really do want to improve on that over the next year, make reading a real habit again. Have decided that Daily Lit is probably going to be the best way to read Dickens, considering the novels were originally serialised, so the format of little bits will work quite well for them.

Right, best be off, a few things to do before bed tonight.

...and thank god for that. I went for a drink with S, one of my housemates, and K, a friend of his whose become a friend of mine, last night. We met up with a couple of S work colleagues (they left far earlier than we did) and it was, as S would say, 'a good craic', but when S, K and I go drinking, we tend to a) drink far too much and b) get back to our house rather late, stay up for perhaps another half-hour to an hour, meaning the three of us finally get to sleep somewhere between 2-3am...and last night was no exception to this pattern. Fortunately for me I did stop after the third glass of red, but the fellas weren't quite so perky this morning...

'tis good fun, I have to admit. ;)

Tomorrow night R is having a fancy dress birthday party (Wizard of Oz), so tomorrow I'm going to have to get together a costume - the expectation is to go for a more creative costume, as in, preferably not one of the four who skipped up the Yellow Brick Road. Rather, come as the Yellow Brick Road...I have an idea that might work out, which will mean a reasonable wake up time for tomorrow in order to sort it out.

Have I mentioned that I'm finding it quite cold here? Am thinking the shopping for costume should be accompanied by some warmer clothes shopping as well!

(new icon! :D )

I had realised until yesterday while I was sitting at my desk in the afternoon just how worried I was about the class last night. At about 3.30 a definite sense of dread crept up my back and stayed there for about 45 minutes, which was later replaced by garden variety nervousness. The worries were usual; have I prepared enough, were the exercises for the dance good enough, would I be able to keep control of the class, would I simply fall apart and forget what I was doing, etc.

7.15 and I'm in the car with my mentor (who also teaches the Wednesday night class I go to), and come 8pm the class is coming in and we're ready to dance. And despite the terrifying lead up to it, the class went alright. This is also despite the floor being slippery and having no 'slip stop' (a kind of powder that is put on the floor to give some friction) to counter balance this, and the class being mostly 50+ (which means they can usually get through the movement of the dances but there is only so much one can expect from footwork).

I do need to work on getting through things faster (something my mentor pointed out) and I do need to be a much clearer in my head of the dances actually go (the strathspey proved a bit tricky in terms of the reels) but they responded quite well to me and 'did as they were told' according to my mentor (perhaps they were being extra attentive because they knew I'm still learning?) We got through 3 of the 4 dances I planned for (two of which are ones I'm quite fond of) so I'm quite happy about that.

On another topic completely, I'm becoming increasingly aware of how badly read I actually am. I really don't read novels or even non-fiction nearly as much as I should, which makes me want to put in an action plan for the coming year. Left to my own devices I tend to stray from book to book and not get them finished in a timely fashion, which is becoming rather frustrating. Focusing on one task has never been one of my strong points, but I think it's time to start taking my reading more seriously. There will probably be more rambling on that at a later date.

For those who don't know, I'm doing Nanowrimo again. Taking a slightly unusual track, I'm trying to actually finish off the draft of The Dragon of the Linden Tree rather than starting something new. This was a bit challenging at first. For one thing, it's been a few months since I last properly looked at it, so it took much of the first week to actually get back into the characters, situation, and figure out just where I was up to in terms of the draft (maybe next time I should flag that better on Scrivener...hmmm.)

Meanwhile, I'm very, very far behind on the expected word count. 11,200, when I really need about 6,000 more to be properly on track. It's not undoable, but what it really means is that I'm going to need to get a motor on on Friday, really force myself to get the words out in order to stay on top of it for the rest of the month.

Also, for all I know, even if I hit 50,000 words, it might need more still...but I think I've hit the halfway mark. At least I hope so...

But I'm rambling now, when I need to be writing. Good luck to any one else taking it on!

I reread the short story over the weekend. Why yes, it does need a lot of work, but I discovered something as I was going over it and taking notes.

A lot of the struggle I had when doing the first draft was the structure of the piece. Where the scenes would lie, what would come after which part, etc. Once I found that, then the scenes came out faster.

And the great thing is that the worrying over it worked. I feel I have the bones of the story down know, and am confident that the bones will hold, but the muscles are still a bit misshapen (whole paragraphs and sections need rewriting) while the skin (the sentences) would indeed make someone's flesh crawl with how awful some of them are.

Interestingly, I didn't begin with a structure. Have tried that before; plotting everything out before setting pen to paper, and usually have floundered as I've wanted to stick too rigidly to said plan. This method of starting, getting into the story, getting a feel for what's happening and what directions it should take, and then mapping it out, seems to be working. It certainly did with my dragon novel; I started in a blaze of activity with Nanowrimo in 2006, got out 50,000 words, and discovered what the real plot was after that. A sure case of 'you can't work with a blank sheet.' Words are good. Even if they the order they are in is in fact 'bad.'

One thing I'm struggling with, and even though I know I shouldn't really be worrying about this until the story is actually ready to be sent somewhere, is the question of just what type of story is it. It could be called sci-fi; it is set some years in the future, a society that is coping with the reality of climate change but in a non-apocalyptic way. However, at it's core is a relationship that I struggle to define. It's not a romance (not enough reciprocation from one party to justify it as such) but concludes with a sex scene which I could skim over, but since the story's climax correlates with, well, the sexual one...

It occurs to me now that it is perhaps more of a bildungsroman plot (longish short story so that applies there) which kind of helps (not a romance then, which I was pretty sure of), but not quite. Well, rewrite, and have a think about it should really be the plan.

In other writing news, I found the perfect linden tree (known as a lime tree here in the UK) that would stand over the dragon cave in The Dragon of the Linden Tree. See it here.

Pity it is not actually on a hill. But trying to find a hill of any sort in East Anglia is a task doomed to failure, so this one will have to do for now.